Monty Don called his Relationship with his wife Sarah ‘Extremely Disturbing’ and ‘Very Unpleasant

To millions of viewers across the UK and beyond, Monty Don is the beloved face of Gardeners’ World, a man whose calm demeanor, poetic musings about soil and seasons, and unmatched horticultural wisdom have earned him a cherished place in the hearts of garden lovers everywhere. But behind his serene television presence lies a deeply human story — one of passion, pain, and ultimately, enduring love. His relationship with his wife of over four decades, Sarah Don, is both a testament to lasting commitment and a reminder that the road to true love is often far from straightforward.

Though Monty and Sarah will celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary on July 29, 2025, Monty has openly admitted that their love story began under circumstances that were, in his own words, “extremely disturbing” and “very unpleasant.” Today, they live together in the picturesque gardens of Longmeadow, their home and the set of Gardeners’ World, surrounded by the fruit of their labor, both botanical and emotional. But to understand the depth of their bond, it’s essential to look back to the very beginning — a chapter of their lives that Monty has revisited with both honesty and regret.

Monty first laid eyes on Sarah while attending Cambridge University. He was a young man brimming with energy, curiosity, and a passion for rowing — a sport that would unwittingly become the backdrop for a moral crisis that would shape his life. Sarah, at the time, was married to a postgraduate student — a fellow rower and one of Monty’s own teammates. This twist of fate placed Monty in the uncomfortable position of being deeply attracted to a woman who, by all traditional standards, was entirely off limits.

He later described the moment he first saw Sarah as a lightning bolt of recognition: “I looked at her and she looked at me, and it was as though you recognise someone you’ve never met. You just know,” he told The Guardian. But he also remembered thinking, “Oh, that’s a great shame, she’s married.” Despite this powerful connection, he held back — at least for a while.

For the next year, Monty and Sarah did not act on the feelings they clearly shared. They avoided confronting the emotional bond between them, each one acutely aware of the pain their relationship could — and eventually would — cause. But fate intervened again when Sarah’s husband left for a three-month trip abroad and, according to Monty, failed to stay in touch with her.

It was during this time of absence and emotional neglect that Monty and Sarah finally gave in to the feelings they had long tried to deny. What followed was, as Monty later confessed, both deeply passionate and devastatingly difficult. “All my background said I was breaking a moral code,” he admitted. “This man hadn’t mistreated his wife in any way and what I was doing was wrong, but it was clearly so very right.”

That raw admission reflects Monty’s character — a man willing to acknowledge his flaws and wrestle openly with his conscience. “It was very messy and very unpleasant for everyone involved, and not at all noble. Everybody was hurt,” he added. “I was doing what I always do, which is live for the moment.”

The fallout was as painful as expected. Sarah’s husband — described by Monty as a “baronial Scottish figure” — was furious. He never spoke to either of them again. The price of their love was the destruction of a marriage, the loss of a friendship, and the shadow of guilt that would linger for years.

With no choice but to leave their old lives behind, Monty and Sarah retreated from the judgment and heartache that followed them. They escaped to a borrowed house on the remote North Yorkshire Moors, where they lived in near isolation. There, in the windswept countryside, the couple attempted to rebuild their lives — not with glamour, but with grit.

Monty tried his hand at writing a novel, though money was scarce. They took up farm work just to survive, often being paid in food rather than cash. It was a life of hardship, but also one that tested and ultimately strengthened their bond. Living without luxury, stripped of societal status and support, they clung to each other, learning how to navigate not just the practicalities of life together, but also the emotional scars from how it all began.

Their love endured. On July 29, 1983, Monty and Sarah tied the knot — a decision that marked not just the beginning of their marriage, but a quiet declaration of their commitment to weather every storm, together.

Over the decades, they raised three children — Adam, Freya, and Tom — and faced life’s many challenges hand in hand. They ran a successful jewelry business for years, only to see it collapse. They endured financial hardship and the burden of rebuilding from the ground up. Most notably, Sarah stood by Monty’s side through his long battle with depression, a mental health journey he has never shied away from speaking about publicly.

Despite all this, or perhaps because of it, their love grew deeper with time. Monty has never hesitated to share just how much Sarah means to him. In a 2018 interview, when asked about his favorite scent, he replied simply and tenderly: “The nape of my wife Sarah’s neck.” When the same question was posed again in a Financial Times piece two years later, his answer remained unchanged — a quiet echo of his unshakable devotion.

In 2023, when he was asked about being considered a “sex symbol,” Monty offered a characteristically grounded and faithful response. “I’ve been living with somebody for 43 years, who I love more and more,” he said, brushing aside the idea with humility and sincerity.

In another candid moment with The Guardian, he opened up again: “I genuinely love my wife and find her sexy and fantastic, and I realise how lucky we are, so I wouldn’t do anything to blow that.”

It would be easy to look at Monty and Sarah today — living in their idyllic Longmeadow home, surrounded by blooms and beauty — and imagine a fairytale love story. But the truth, as Monty himself has shared, is far more complex, and far more human. Their relationship did not begin with a storybook kiss. It began with heartbreak, guilt, and the painful tearing down of old lives to build something new.

Yet that foundation — imperfect as it may have been — has held strong. In a world where many relationships falter under the pressure of time and trials, Monty and Sarah Don have built a marriage that endures, not because it was perfect from the start, but because they never stopped choosing each other.

Their love story is not meant to be envied blindly. It’s meant to be understood — in all its flaws, its beauty, and its hard-won grace. Through it all, Monty Don has remained not just a gardener of plants, but a gardener of love — one who knows, perhaps better than most, that even the most tangled roots can yield the most beautiful blooms.